Baby Shower Etiquette - What to Expect
A baby shower is a special celebration that brings friends and family together to share in the excitement of welcoming a new baby. Whether you’ve been invited as a guest, are hosting the event, or are the parent-to-be, understanding a few simple etiquette guidelines can help the day run smoothly and ensure everyone feels comfortable and included.
An celebration import from the U.S., baby showers are increasingly popular in the UK. In this guide, we’ll walk through what typically happens at a baby shower, what guests are expected to do, and how to choose a thoughtful gift for the occasion.
What Is a Baby Shower?
A baby shower is a gathering of family and friends to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a baby and support the parents-to-be. Traditionally organised by a close friend, family member or work colleague rather than the parents themselves, the event usually takes place during the final trimester.
The main purpose of a baby shower is to “shower” the parents with love, encouragement, and gifts for when their baby arrives.
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Who Hosts the Baby Shower?
Traditionally, a baby shower is organised by someone close to the parents-to-be, such as a best friend, sibling, or another family member. It's not unusual for a small group of friends to come together to host the celebration, sharing the planning and responsibilities to create a memorable event. The intention is simply to celebrate the upcoming arrival of the baby while surrounding the parents-to-be with support and excitement.
In the past, etiquette suggested that immediate family members shouldn’t host a baby shower themselves, as it could appear as though they were directly asking for gifts. Modern baby showers are much more relaxed and flexible. Today, it’s perfectly common for sisters, cousins, or even the grandparents-to-be to organise the celebration. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the event is arranged by someone who cares about the family and wants to help create a special occasion.
It’s also increasingly common for work colleagues to organise a baby shower at work. These office celebrations are usually smaller and more informal, often taking place during a lunch break or after work. They give colleagues the chance to celebrate the expectant parent, present a group gift, and wish them well before they begin their maternity or paternity leave.
Whoever takes on the role of host is typically responsible for planning the details of the event. This usually includes sending out invitations, organising the food and decorations, and planning any games or activities that will take place during the shower. The host may also arrange a space for guests to place their gifts and help ensure the event runs smoothly so the parents-to-be can simply relax and enjoy the celebration.
When Do Baby Showers Usually Take Place?
Most baby showers are held between 28 and 36 weeks of pregnancy. This timing works well because not only is the pregnancy well established, but it's not close enough to the end to risk early labour.
If parents choose to find out the baby's gender, they usually know by this time, so this can be announced before or even during the shower.
What Happens at a Baby Shower?
While every baby shower is unique and often reflects the personality of the parents-to-be, most celebrations follow a similar relaxed structure. The focus is usually on spending time together, sharing excitement about the new arrival, and celebrating this special stage of life. Here’s what typically happens during a baby shower.
1. Arrival and Welcome
As guests arrive, they are usually greeted by the host and the parents-to-be. This is often a relaxed time where people can mingle, introduce themselves, and catch up with friends and family. Since guests may come from different parts of the parents’ lives, be it family, school friends, neighbours, and colleagues, this informal start can help everyone feel comfortable.
Guests typically bring a gift for the baby, which is placed on a designated table or display area. Many hosts like to decorate the gift table with themed decorations or signage to match the overall baby shower theme. During this time, guests may also be offered a welcome drink such as tea, coffee, a non-alcoholic mocktail or prosecco. This is where the theme can really add to the shower creating a warm relaxed vibe.
2. Food and Drinks
Food is usually a central part of a baby shower and tends to be simple, sociable, and easy to enjoy while chatting.
Many baby showers are organised as an afternoon gathering, so you’ll often find an afternoon tea-style spread with sandwiches, cakes, pastries, and sweet treats. Cupcakes and biscuits decorated with baby-themed designs are also a popular choice.
Some showers are hosted as brunches or light lunches, particularly if they take place earlier in the day. In these cases, the menu might include items like salads, quiches, fruit platters, and baked goods.
Drinks are typically non-alcoholic in consideration of the expectant parent, with options like sparkling juices, flavoured lemonades, and mocktails adding a celebratory touch.
The food portion of the event is usually relaxed and informal, allowing guests to continue chatting and getting to know one another while enjoying the refreshments.
3. Games and Activities
Love them or loathe them, baby shower games and activities are a long-standing tradition and help bring guests together in a fun and light-hearted way. Not every baby shower includes games, but many hosts do choose to include a few simple activities to keep the event fun and memorable.
Popular baby shower games often revolve around guessing or baby-related trivia. Think 'guess the baby’s birth date' or even weight. Other popular activities are baby-themed quizzes, decorating baby bibs, or guessing the flavour of different baby foods. These activities often spark laughter and even friendly competition amongst the guests.
Some showers also include keepsake activities, such as writing thoughtful messages or advice for the parents-to-be, which can be placed in a memory box or baby book. These contributions often become treasured mementos for the family in the years to come.
4. Opening Gifts
One of the most anticipated moments is when the parents-to-be open their presents. Guests often enjoy seeing what thoughtful or personalised gifts guests have chosen.
As gifts are opened, guests often gather around to see what has been chosen for the new baby. Presents typically include a mix of practical items, such as clothing, blankets, and nursery essentials, as well as sentimental keepsakes that mark the baby’s arrival. Hosts like to keep track of who gave each gift so that the parents can later send personalised thank-you notes.
Gift opening is often a heartwarming part of the day, as it highlights the love and support surrounding the growing family. It’s also a chance for the parents-to-be to share their excitement and appreciation with the friends and family who have gathered to celebrate with them.
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Baby Shower Etiquette for Guests
If you’ve been invited to a baby shower, following a few simple etiquette guidelines can help ensure the day runs smoothly for both the host and the parents-to-be.
One of the most important things to do is respond to the invitation promptly. Hosts usually need to make plans for food, seating, and activities based on the number of guests attending, so confirming whether you can attend as soon as possible makes the organisation so much easier.
Arriving on time is also considered good etiquette. Baby showers often follow a loose schedule that may include games, gift opening, or group activities, and arriving at the beginning ensures you don’t miss any of the key moments. It also allows the parents-to-be to properly greet everyone before the event gets truly underway.
During the shower, guests are usually encouraged to take part in the activities that have been organised. Even if baby shower games aren’t normally your 'thing', joining in helps create a friendly atmosphere and shows appreciation for the effort the host has put into planning the celebration.
Finally, it’s important to keep the focus on the parents-to-be. Pregnancy can be both exciting and tiring, so maintaining a warm, supportive, and positive vibe throughout the event helps ensure the day feels enjoyable and extra special for them.
After the Baby Shower
Once the celebration has taken place, it’s usual for the parents-to-be to send thank-you notes to the guests who attended and brought gifts. These messages are a lovely way to acknowledge the support and generosity shown by friends, family, and colleagues during such an important and exciting time.
A thank-you note will usually include a personal message saying thank you for attending the baby shower, along with a mention of any specific gift that was given. Many parents also like to include a short comment about why it means something to them, which helps make the message feel more personal and heartfelt.
